
When we talk about queer-inclusive wedding fashion, we need to get honest about what’s actually happening in bridal shops—and what’s completely missing. In short: If your shop doesn’t carry pants options beyond traditional gowns, you’re not queer inclusive. And no, having one feminine-leaning jumpsuit tucked in the back doesn’t count.
When a bridal shop doesn’t offer suits, sets, or separates, basically any formal outfit with pants, it’s signaling one thing loud and clear: you’re only welcome here if you fit a certain kind of femininity. Specifically, the kind that aligns with mainstream, binary expectations of what a bride “should” look like.
That means for nonbinary folks, trans masc clients, or simply queer couples where both partners don’t identify with traditional bridal fashion, the message is: we’re not here for you. And that’s a massive problem.
So even if you think “I’ve served a lesbian bride before” let’s stop and ask a few questions: Did you consider that you were leaving money on the table when you left their partner high and dry? Did you know that they didn’t feel like that was a safe space for them even though they may have found a dress there? Did you even ask if they wanted to be called a bride?
Hetero couples? They can walk into a bridal shop or a suit shop and have a decent shot at finding something that works. This is because there are decades of pre-approved processes to finding a traditional suit and a traditional dress for your wedding. But queer people don’t have a designated space for wedding attire that reflects our identities. We’re piecing things together from wherever we can, often with resources and limited support.
And for bridal shop owners who are thinking, “But we do have a suit in-store!”—if it’s just a plain, basic, snow-white suit with zero personality, that is not an option. Queer people want expressive, fashion-forward wedding looks that reflect who they are. We’re not looking to dress like we’re headed to a corporate boardroom. We’re dressing for the queerest day of our lives! Moreover, we want optionality. Can you imagine the horror of a bride who walked into the wedding dress shop that only had one dress option for her? No, because that world doesn’t exist. Maybe for the plus-size or disabled folks it does. But certainly not for the fem, able-bodied, strait-sized girlies.
If you’re a wedding designer who says, “No one asks for pants—that’s why I don’t make them,” think again. People do want pants. What’s actually happening is that your contractual structures with bridal shops—like mandatory collection minimums—are making it near impossible for shops to carry the one expressive pantsuit from your line without investing in the whole collection. That mandatory minimum forces you to either make an entire collection of pants for a shop to buy or none at all.
That’s not inclusion. That’s systemic exclusion baked into the business model. And it’s time for it to change.
Yes, people want pants. I’d be out of a job if people didn’t want pants. I’m a fashion stylist for queer people solely because people want pants and bridal shops don’t have them and suit shops aren’t cute.
Until then, queer people will continue skipping bridal shops entirely—and honestly, who can blame them?
You’re not alone. If you’re looking for styling that centers your identity, affirms your expression, and makes you feel like your full self, work with a stylist who gets it.
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